Ejemplo

Then he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” - Matthew 26:38-39

One thing people often forget is that Jesus came here to save, yes, and to forgive, yes, but he also came here to set an example. Of what, you ask? Of human life, and how we're supposed to live it.

God, in the flesh, came and said, "Look now. This is how I created you to do it." In the process Jesus was spared nothing. He endured forty days in the desert, hungry, abandoned and alone, tempted every minute of each day by Satan himself. He was mocked, ridiculed, challenged and hunted. He was engaged in theological debates one minute, ethical debates the next, then legal debates and philosophical debates. He had his heart broken by the inhumanity of the masses around him, the cruelty and the judgement. His sanity was challenged, his psyche was challenged and his soul was challenged. He laughed, he cried, he questioned, he searched, he raged and he loved. Through it all.

Just like you and me.

But one of the great joys of reading the New Testament is in seeing how Jesus responded. I mean: wow. A hug and a kiss one minute, a parable the next. When he wasn't drawing a line in the sand, he was drawing attention to all the pain and loneliness around him. He was encouraging. He was loving. Then, just when you think you've seen it all? Along comes Matthew 26:38-39. When knowing his very death was eminent, he did not try to run from it. He was sorrowful, troubled, worried and in internal agony. I mean, can you even imagine? Wait. I bet you can. Jesus knew you would too. Eventually, we all ask the big questions and we all struggle. You may not be literally dying right now, but you are dying everyday in the midst of your circumstances, in your mindset and with the lenses by which you view the world and your place in it. In your life you have been, or are at this very minute, in deep pain. At times like these, remember the example Jesus left you.

What does he do? He prays, he talks with God, and then? In one of the most remarkable moments of Scripture, he completely surrenders...he lets go of the desire for control and that frail human need to "dictate" one's fate...and he turns it ALL over to the Lord. It is the ultimate example for human life.

So, the only real question left is this: will you, at long last, follow it?

Miserable Chameleon

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." - Psalm 139:13-14

Many, many years ago I convinced myself to give up writing. I told myself that it wasn't a practical way to support a family. It was “dreamer’s work”, akin to walking into a room, chest puffed out, and telling people that you wanted to be an “Actor”! Oh…the horror. Looking back now, I realize that on that day I almost killed my true self. Over the next ten years I would venture briefly into the world of professional politics and then on to business and then, slowly, become an absolutely miserable, bastard of a man. I kid you not.

Why should I have been surprised? How can a person who has voided his true identity, the “me” he was created to “be”, and then constructed a bunch of false selves, caricatures really, from characters in books or movies, or selves that I knew the job interviewer or the girl I liked wanted me to be, ever become anything else but a miserable chameleon? At some point it all became too much. I wanted to live again. To write again. So I left that downtown job, got rid of my ties, started a little cleaning company to pay the bills and began dreaming again.

Here’s the thing: if we hide our true selves, then we shouldn't be surprised if our false selves make us unhappy. You are a unique creation of cosmic dust and spirit. Why in heaven would you ever want to mess with that? What on earth has caught your eye and led you deep into a forest of disillusionment and confusion? Where is the real “you”? And why did you allow yourself to be convinced that the real you was never good enough to begin with?

I can’t tell you how to find yourself. No one can, despite all those crowded aisles in the “Self Help” section of the bookstore. But I can tell you where you won’t find it. You won’t find it in the next drink at the bar (or perhaps you’re older now, so you drink your wine at home, sometimes the whole bottle...what’s it matter when you've convinced yourself that no one really cares?). You also won’t find it in the next temper tantrum. Anger is a treadmill in reverse. You won’t find it in the next relationship, either, because hurt people tend to hurt people. And you surely won’t find it in that dark, little corner of your mind marked “Reserved for Depression”.

The only way you find it is by giving God jurisdiction over your life. Besides you, He’s the only one who REALLY knows the TRUE you. And, unlike you, He knows exactly who He created you to be in the first place and for what purpose. So today, maybe, if you could, take a moment and say “Hi” to Him. He’s waiting to have a real, honest talk with you. No judgment. No shame. Just a few tears await, and a resurrection of course…of the real you.

The "F" Word

F-E-A-R. Probably not the “F” word that you were thinking it was going to be but, by far and away, Fear is a four letter word that has caused and will cause more pain and suffering in your life, and in the lives of those around you, than any curse word ever could. That is, if you allow it to.

Recently I have come to a personal conclusion: The Enemy, Evil, Satan (whatever you want to call it) simply has no greater weapon than Fear. Not one. Not envy or lust or even a thirst for vengeance. If you think about it? Fear is at the root of each of the Ten Commandments. You would have no reason to worship another God before the Lord if you didn’t come to fear that the Lord wasn’t enough in the first place. Most people commit adultery out of the fear that they are not good enough anymore, in life or for their spouse. Others steal...out of fear that the Lord cannot provide for them, or out of greed, which is the fear of never having enough. Fear is the driving force of envy as well. You get the idea.

Fear. Fear. Fear. It is a four letter word, and it will cripple you your entire life. And when it visits to beat up on you, it doesn't come alone. Oh, no. Often it brings a few cousins - anxiety and worry - to help out. Blow by blow, they convince you that you’re not good enough, that you need another drink, that you will never get the job you want, that you’re going to get fired, that you’ll never find love and happiness, or be a good enough wife, or that the test results from the hospital coming this week will bring bad news, or something is going to go wrong, for some reason, somewhere, somehow. The Enemy’s goal is to slowly maneuver you into the corner of The Ultimate Fear: that God has abandoned you. That He doesn’t love you. That you’re a big, fat failure, unworthy of salvation or love.

When you reach this point? What do you do? I recently spoke with a good Christian brother of mine about a fear I have been dealing with for nearly two months now. I had kept it all in, you know, because being afraid is being weak and, like many men, “weak” is not the image I am trying to project (did you get that? I was “afraid” of being “afraid”…and that’s the problem with fears, they multiply like cockroaches). But I got real with him, and I let it all out. “What do I do?” I asked. He smiled, put his hand on my shoulder, leaned in and said: “Hope and pray for the best. Hold firm in that. Don’t call negativity into your life that may not even really be there…but if it is? Well. You fight. Fight hard. In faith.”

I think this is the “good fight of faith” that Paul talks about in 1 Timothy 6:12, Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. This is when you get to call in YOUR cousins: love, hope and The Holy Spirit. When they arrive? It’s not even a fair fight anymore. Because any and every fear, even of death, is nothing in the face of a God who knows you.

Sweet Disposition

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

How do you approach your day…I mean, really, each day? Each and every day? Is it with regret? Exhaustion? Frustration? Are things already not going your way, even before they get going at all? Why? Since when did life become a one sided hill, all upward struggle, with no hope for a downhill coast with a cool breeze at your back? When did you forget that life is so very short and surely not meant to me spent immersed in sadness, anxiety or worry?

What would happen if, instead, you adopted a sweet disposition (like that old song by Temper Trap in the 80's, for those of you old enough to remember)? How would the day change if you greeted it with expectancy? Or hope? Or with a gritty determination not to let your circumstances dictate your happiness, or even more importantly, your faith? Can you even imagine the difference that would/could make in your life...or in your blood pressure...or with your weight and your sleep patterns?

How many lives could you affect – profoundly – if you carried a smile on your face all day today? If you simply said: “Today I will laugh at it all, and I will make others laugh, and when they laugh I bet that will make me laugh all the more, and life won’t be this heavy wool coat anymore, but instead it will be a blanket of feathers, that will turn into wings…that will help me to soar.” Sound too flowery? Good. It’s supposed to.

When will you ever learn that you are more than a conqueror? Then accept it, and finally, embrace it? Soon, I hope. The time of your life is not an endless thing, and what time you have left should not be squandered with a dour face and stress that will amount to absolutely nothing on the day that you die. Engage and embrace the gift that God has given you: the very next breath you take, and the next one, and the one after that. Breathe, smile and remember that you’re a much greater version of you when you're filled with love and joy.

Cabin #2

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." - Psalm 4:8

Ya know. Vacation is important. So is rest and finding peace, both within and without. We often forget this for some reason. We also forget how others need it to, and how vastly special the connections are between us, some that we don't even realize existed, until they're pointed out to us. Like the Cabin #2 Journal that I stumbled upon when we vacationed in Big Sur last weekend. As I flipped it open I looked into the lives of SO many people. It was really neat. There were some lovely children's drawings in it, a few heavy hitter writer's who expounded in earnest, and some real life, gritty moments, shared by others. Each visitor is expected to write in it before they leave, and I was stunned to see that the journal was completely full, save for the inside back cover. So? Since I haven't blogged in a while, I thought I would share our entry.

"As our family reads through this journal we are touched by so many stories. There are many moments recorded here, memories elastic and given eternal life because different people from all over the world have taken the time to share. Some were newlyweds in the bliss of their new matrimony; others have been children who have shared the simple pleasures of their days (and the number of crawdads they caught!), while others still have shared their discoveries (the purple sand at Pfeiffer, or sand dollars, or a tree species). In these pages are the words of someone very ill and working through their bucket list, someone else recovering from job loss and back surgery, and the defiant words of another person, a man floored by a broken heart, who came here to heal.  

If you read deeper, you will find some who witnessed to their faith, and others who were seeking the same. There are even the sweet scribbling’s of young love: a college boy who wrote secretly in this journal - while his girlfriend slept nearby - of how lucky he was to have her, and of how bright he hoped that their future together might be.

Amongst all who have preceded us we, The Faggioli’s, arrive for the last page, white and wide as a cliff face, calling to be climbed. My wife and I, now going on 19 years of marriage, came here to Big Sur for the first time 22 years ago. We tent camped because we were broke. We rode inner-tubes down the river to the restaurant and had beers with appetizers and listened to the band play and, very much in love ourselves, we told each other we’d come back someday with our kids. And we have been now, for the past thirteen years. Our son is now 13 and his little sister is now 7. 

Every year or so we all come back, because, as this journal is to this cabin, this place is to our hearts: memories. Recorded. Retained. Cherished. They cling in the branches of the redwoods overhead, call out to us in the birdsong all around and, if I listen real closely, in the running river, I can still hear both of my kids, when they were each toddlers, laughing at the joy of their first inner-tube rides.

But there’s something odd about being “the last page”. We’re the portal between “then” and “when”. All the people who have written in this journal before us will probably never read these words, and all the people who follow us probably won’t either, as they will be writing in a new, different journal for Cabin #2. Perhaps both journals will remain here, to keep the record going, and to keep this magical chain of moments strung together...lives of totally different people from totally different places, at totally different stages of life, forever intersected by the magic of words.