Tail Lights

Last week I went back in time, to my high school days, when driving to the gym or work was a “hold your breath” moment every time I turned the key to my car’s ignition. My car's not new, but it’s not all that old either. But one morning I had a dead battery. Just like that. Either I had mistakenly left something on or the battery was due for a change. AAA jumped the car, I drove it to my mechanic and…wallah! No problem. Until three days later. Dead battery again, and another call to AAA, who jumped me again, ran a diagnostic on the alternator, pronounced it as fine and recommended I take it back to the mechanic. I did. Two days of expert detective work later and my mechanic was dumbfounded. Battery fine. Alternator fine. Starter fine. No shorts. Then he uttered the dreaded words no man wants to hear: “You’re.Gonna.Have.To.Take.It.To.The.Dealer”. Cue the Darth Vader music. 

Now….me? I barelllly got a C- in auto shop back in high school. But, still, all along, I’d been exasperating everyone with my complaining about the fact that one of my tail lights was out. Could that be the cause? The AAA tech, my mechanic, his junior mechanic…they all looked at me with that smile that all men share when one of them is ready to pull your Man Card for being a wussy and then give you a time out. It’s a look that says, “Silly man. You didn’t do very well in auto shop, did you?” Well. No. I was busy writing stories, dumb ass. How’d you do in English? Never mind. I can see that you misspelled three words on the invoice here, so let’s call it even. I didn’t really say that of course. I’m too kind. Okay. I didn’t really say it because I still wanted the car fixed. Otherwise,  I woulda been small enough to say it. I admit.

But when faced with the dealer as my next option? I wanted that tail light checked no matter how silly I sounded. Guess what we found? Not just a blown bulb, but an entirely melted fixture surrounding it. The junior mechanic gasped and said, “Damn! That could cause a short!” The senior mechanic glared at him. I shook my head at everyone and strutted around the car a few times like a rooster. Fixture and bulb changed. Problem solved. I had just dodged a $1,000 bill (because that’s where all dealers start, purveyors of human misery that they are) for $14. Since my children tell me that I’m the Italian Mr. Crabs, this made me weep with joy (when no one else was around of course).

But later I began to wonder: how many of our problems, mental, emotional, spiritual or otherwise…these massive, all-encompassing issues that weigh us down and beg for all sorts of human diagnostics (meds, therapists, etc.)…are really just “tail light” issues? Depressed a lot? How many times a week are you downing a glass of wine or a few beers (aka “depressants”)? Lost and disillusioned? How’s your prayer life going? Are you talking to God? Are you listening for the answers? Feeling unloved? Have you learned to love yourself? Because no one else can truly love you until you do. Instead they'll be loving the person they think you are, instead of the person you know yourself to be.

I’m not saying that some issues aren’t very, very serious. Some surely are.  But some just aren’t as complicated as we think. Sometimes it's just that a small light in you has gone out, and if you're insistent enough to check it out? You can shine bright again.