When I started out with this blog I wanted to focus solely on uplifting and encouraging aspects of life and spirituality. But then I remembered the advice of one of my creative
writing teachers, years ago, who had a favorite little saying that he used to beat us over the head with: Tell the Truth.
So, in that spirit, here’s an uncomfortable little truth:
sometimes your faith can go numb.
As you might imagine, this is not a good feeling. It’s not that
place of utter sin when you know you’re acting completely contrary to God’s
will, nor obviously is it that place when you're in sync and at peace with God's will. It’s somewhere in the middle, like that “little football” in the center
of a Venn diagram. Except this is not a philosophical situation, but a spiritual one, and the debate is not temporal for affect but eternal for salvation. Because as any good doctor will tell you, if you ignore a part of you that is numb for too long? It will die.
Then? Blissful feeling will return and we can get back to a living faith.
I am always praying for you, and here is where my praying led today, from 2 Timothy 1:3,4,6,7.
ReplyDelete"I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy...
"...For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
Sometimes when our faith feels wonky, we need to reconnect to the body. Do you need to have a good conversation with another Christian? Or we need to spend some alone time, worshiping. Thank God for everything in your life, and you know me...I mean EVERYTHING. Even the hard stuff. Especially the hard stuff. (Give thanks in all circumstances.) Or confess some sin. Or stop doing some sin. Just some thoughts.
When I was feeling particularly strange recently, I wrote a poem that I believe were God's feelings toward me. You could read that, and take it to heart.
You are Yahweh's beloved. He loves you like you love your children. He loves to watch you work, write, parent, be with your friends. You make him so proud.
Hilaree...thanks for the kind words. They could've been tacked on to my blog as an answer to the entire concept of a "numb faith". I honestly think that these very observations of yours are the "working out" and "pins and needles" process that I vaguely refered to. My intent was to convey that some days you wake up and just have an "off day" spiritually. It happens to us all - but that there's no need to panic - even if the off day stretches into an "off week" or (gulp) an "off month". We shouldn't take it all nonchalantly either. But we need not panic. Why? Because as you stated in your comments: we are Yahweh's beloved.
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