Think

"Under all that we think, lies all we believe, like the ultimate veil of our spirit." - Antonio Machado

So? What do you think? About life. About fear. About loneliness, and space, happiness and those quiet reflections you have from time to time, while you're driving in the car in the company of a good song that's on the radio, or when you're tracing doodles in the condensation of your beer bottle while sitting at the bar, with absolutely no company at all?

I used to believe that I was in everything, and everything was in me. Until I realized that was a state of spirit that required a constant state of mind, nearly superhuman, which I could not maintain even on the quietest of mountaintops. I used to believe that the more you pursued something, the further away you pushed it so, conversely, if you really wanted it you should be still and let it come to you, until I realized that a life of waiting for love or salvation was no life at all. I preferred Robert Frost and his Road Less Traveled over waiting for someone or something to come rolling my way down the road.

The magic of a human life is not about happenstance. It's not about will, either. You may choose a road, a path, down either side of the many forks that make up your life, but that choice is a beautiful conglomeration of thoughts, ideas, beliefs and desires that so many people have given you, flushed out of you, nourished in you or broken in spite of you. To this day I still make decisions with my father's help, even though he's been dead almost 14 years. Because his imprint is in me, like the twists and twirls of his fingertips I am his identity, left behind now, to bear witness to the wisdom of his lessons and the blessings of his presence. I get that. My tiny mind can understand and encompass it. So when I'm asked to stand firm for a Holy Father, when I study that relationship, there's no great epiphany for me. I just get it. That's all. Yes it's different in its holiness but oh, so familiar in its reality.

You're no different in theory, but very different in context. Your story is different than mine, as are your imprints and your hurts, your victories and your struggles. You are a map. So many roads. Don't worry. Just take the turns that feel like home, to who you really were, because that's what has led you to who you really are now.