There's a reason why God paired everyone up on that ark, a reason why the bible tells us two is better than one (for one can help his brother up when he falls), a reason why even Jesus called the twelve disciples to his side; in short, we aren't meant to go it alone. There is force in numbers.
I marvel at people who try. I think they are equal measures brave and crazy. Some of them will say they are alone not by choice, but by circumstance. I don't know about that. We can make friends in a number of places, re-establish contact with old friends and - if you are single - wait for love not in despair but with the heart of a warrior-poet, fighting versus while writing verses.
Solitude is a good thing in very small doses. Beyond that one can become so encapsulated in their own little world that things only get worse. Before long loneliness usually marches in and with it sadness. There's a song out now by some guy called Gotye that says "We can become addicted to a certain kind of sadness." I totally agree. Sadness is just as insidious as cocaine or alcohol. It's a quiet disease and it can cripple a life, a marriage and all sorts of other things.
You need to remember that you are never alone. Never. Even in the dark, in your bed at night. Above you are a billion stars and one pair of eyes just waiting for an invitation to join you. He never misses a call, never forgets to show up, never is pressed for time to see you. Some of the best rest you will ever have in your life will come on those nights when God talks you to sleep.
Remember, you are never one. With God you are always two.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Clay
“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light
shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory
displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to
show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard
pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted,
but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” – 2 Corinthians 4:
6-9
There’s something to be said for knowing better. We make a
lot of mistakes in life when we should have known better. That means we did,
but we did it anyway. I read a quote the other day that wisdom is learning from
experience, but true wisdom is
learning from the experience of others.
We go through life and we accumulate lessons, thoughts and
ideas, some on our own, but most I think with the help of others. I have
learned some amazing things from some amazing people in my lifetime. From my
grandfather I learned to never forget where I came from and from my ten year
old son the other day, wondering aloud at the meaning of life and what he wants
to be in this world, I learned to never stop wondering at life. Because,
really, where you came from is only as important as where you’re going, right?
The bible tells us that we are jars of clay, holding the
treasure of God within us. I think that is a beautiful analogy because, well,
clay can be molded. It can be touched and shaped, and fingerprints can be left
behind to identify those that have helped to make us who we are. Yes, some of
those marks will be rough, some will be outright gouges by those who have hurt
us, but from that glowing light within even these marks can be smoothed over
and given meaning.
Between our birth and our death thousands of hands will
touch us. The magic of the journey is in allowing ourselves to be touched and,
looking down each day at our own hands, remembering that we too are touching others.
Friday, February 3, 2012
"P" is for Perspective
"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them." - Epictetus
When life overwhelms or the hurts and fears begin to mount, when you finally feel ready to analyze a moment/relationship in your life to see what it tells you about yourself, remember to withdraw a bit and be still. The mind is not unlike a teacup; it rattles easily. At these moments I think we are all simply feeling the limitations of our "humanness". In short, your perceptions have taken over.
Perception is defined in two ways:
- The ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.
- The state of being or process of becoming aware of something in such a way
But I think God expects more from us than to simply take our own existence and create an army of one. It's why so many of us end up at war with ourselves. In the Bible, time and again, we get examples of people forced out of their own limited views of the world and into a greater perspective (Moses, Noah, David, and Solomon to name a few).
Perspective is defined in five ways, I have chosen these two:
1) The state of existing in space before the eye.
2) The state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.Call me a head case (and many of you will) but I find it maddening that I have been created to take what I see in this existence and process it, through my thoughts and ideas, my memories and experiences, my neurosis and paranoia's, until I must (by mental default) form an idea or opinion of "how things are" vs "how things appear". I have spent most of my life getting this wrong.
Perception without perspective is a wild gamble. Many of us live our lives at this particular crap table every day, rolling the dice. It's easier to just view the world how we see things and everyone else can kiss off. But by viewing the world only through our own lenses we often can get a distorted picture of life and, by default, stunt our growth both as human and - more importantly - spiritual beings.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
"D" is for Distance
"Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
- Matthew 26:38-39
I opened this piece with a bit of scripture that shows that even Jesus, who could command angels and demons, needed to get some distance from things at times. The notion of stopping everything to draw away to a quiet place, to think, to breath, even to pray is difficult for us to comprehend sometimes. Actually, it's something that most of us simply refuse to do, caught up as we are in the day to day hustle and bustle of our lives. There's always "something else" to get to, "someone else" to call or "another email" to respond to.
We'll watch T.V. for two hours a night, caught up in the fantasy lives on the screen or the fortunes of one person or another on a game show, but we give little or no time to a little "peace of mind" and even less time to God. Is it any wonder that most of us are stressed, depressed, frustrated or confused? We want to know what life is all about but we don't really study the question or, worse still, the author of the subject. How can we ever know what life is all about if we don't study what life IS and who CREATED it?
If you think about it we have plenty of clues that getting some distance on things is beneficial. How many times in life have you faced a conflict, maybe at work or in a bad relationship, that just dragged on and on. People around you may have advised you to let things go or to make a change but you just couldn't (wouldn't) hear it. Then months (or years) later you changed jobs or broke-up with that bad ex. Do you remember that feeling that came over you? Like a cloud suddenly lifting you could finally see things for how they really were. What was acutely painful to even contemplate before was now but an afterthought. "How could I let myself be treated that way? What was wrong with me?!"
What was wrong with you was that you didn't have distance, the very thing that Jesus models for us in this passage, because without distance Jesus knew you couldn't really have something else, even more important, which he modeled for us while dying on a cross....you couldn't have perspective. Which I hope to cover tomorrow.
- Matthew 26:38-39
I opened this piece with a bit of scripture that shows that even Jesus, who could command angels and demons, needed to get some distance from things at times. The notion of stopping everything to draw away to a quiet place, to think, to breath, even to pray is difficult for us to comprehend sometimes. Actually, it's something that most of us simply refuse to do, caught up as we are in the day to day hustle and bustle of our lives. There's always "something else" to get to, "someone else" to call or "another email" to respond to.
We'll watch T.V. for two hours a night, caught up in the fantasy lives on the screen or the fortunes of one person or another on a game show, but we give little or no time to a little "peace of mind" and even less time to God. Is it any wonder that most of us are stressed, depressed, frustrated or confused? We want to know what life is all about but we don't really study the question or, worse still, the author of the subject. How can we ever know what life is all about if we don't study what life IS and who CREATED it?
If you think about it we have plenty of clues that getting some distance on things is beneficial. How many times in life have you faced a conflict, maybe at work or in a bad relationship, that just dragged on and on. People around you may have advised you to let things go or to make a change but you just couldn't (wouldn't) hear it. Then months (or years) later you changed jobs or broke-up with that bad ex. Do you remember that feeling that came over you? Like a cloud suddenly lifting you could finally see things for how they really were. What was acutely painful to even contemplate before was now but an afterthought. "How could I let myself be treated that way? What was wrong with me?!"
What was wrong with you was that you didn't have distance, the very thing that Jesus models for us in this passage, because without distance Jesus knew you couldn't really have something else, even more important, which he modeled for us while dying on a cross....you couldn't have perspective. Which I hope to cover tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Ramble On
Today I awoke and remembered some folks.
I thought of a mother who most likely didn't have a good night's sleep, awakening every night at 2am to check on her baby girl, who is 8 now but her baby still (as she always will be) and who is fighting diabetes. In the wee hours of the morning a blood sugar reading will dictate if there will be any more sleep that night. To her I say, keep heart, your baby will be fine because God's grace is made manifest in weakness, and though she is weak now she will be strong soon because every night, at 2am, she witnesses her mother's strength and she is learning.
I thought of all the couples at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena who have taken turns by their babies incubator and by the phone (because it's always one or the other, trust me). I think of their tiny preemies and the prayers these parents have offered up, all night long, in total fear, helpless but not without hope. To them I say, listen for God, somewhere between the buzzing of the sleep apnea monitors and the soft murmur of your babies breathing, you will hear Him...whispering blessings as he makes his rounds alongside the doctors and the nurses.
I thought of my newly single friend who's wife recently left him. He's raising his six year old son mostly on his own now, much as my Dad raised me, and I know most of his day's are filled with a father's love and concern for his child mixed with a detached sort of wonder at whether or not he, himself, will ever find love again. To him I say, you will buddy. Give it time. And remember, for what it's worth, my Dad had girlfriends as the years went by and he still insisted until the day he died that the greatest love he ever had was the one he shared with me. I was 30 when he told me that, but still his little boy (as I always will be).
Oh yeah, and then there's you. Today I awoke and thought of you, too. I said a prayer for you. Because I may have no idea what challenges you're facing today, but I sure wasn't going to let you face them without feeling at least one prayer, like a soft breeze, at your back. To you I say, ramble on.
I thought of a mother who most likely didn't have a good night's sleep, awakening every night at 2am to check on her baby girl, who is 8 now but her baby still (as she always will be) and who is fighting diabetes. In the wee hours of the morning a blood sugar reading will dictate if there will be any more sleep that night. To her I say, keep heart, your baby will be fine because God's grace is made manifest in weakness, and though she is weak now she will be strong soon because every night, at 2am, she witnesses her mother's strength and she is learning.
I thought of all the couples at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena who have taken turns by their babies incubator and by the phone (because it's always one or the other, trust me). I think of their tiny preemies and the prayers these parents have offered up, all night long, in total fear, helpless but not without hope. To them I say, listen for God, somewhere between the buzzing of the sleep apnea monitors and the soft murmur of your babies breathing, you will hear Him...whispering blessings as he makes his rounds alongside the doctors and the nurses.
I thought of my newly single friend who's wife recently left him. He's raising his six year old son mostly on his own now, much as my Dad raised me, and I know most of his day's are filled with a father's love and concern for his child mixed with a detached sort of wonder at whether or not he, himself, will ever find love again. To him I say, you will buddy. Give it time. And remember, for what it's worth, my Dad had girlfriends as the years went by and he still insisted until the day he died that the greatest love he ever had was the one he shared with me. I was 30 when he told me that, but still his little boy (as I always will be).
Oh yeah, and then there's you. Today I awoke and thought of you, too. I said a prayer for you. Because I may have no idea what challenges you're facing today, but I sure wasn't going to let you face them without feeling at least one prayer, like a soft breeze, at your back. To you I say, ramble on.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tortillas and Butter
Ya know, first loves suck. We've all had them. I have rarely heard of one of them working out long term (it happens, so I don't need a bunch of emails telling me so, but man is it rare). I don't really think it's fair that we have to experience first love's. I mean, could there be any higher stakes to a "first" anything in your life than the very first time you hand your heart over to someone who is as big an idiot as you are?
Invariably your heart gets busted up. Before long the wheel spins the other way and you are standing and looking at someone who has somehow decided that you, of all people on earth, are the best thing since Mac & Cheese and, yep, you have to bust THEIR heart all to pieces. Blink, blink. Then the tears. Ugh. It's like a trip to the dentist.
I grew up in a mostly Mexican neighborhood in Hawthorne. I learned very quickly as the only white kid at the party that pinatas are dangerous, man, and ya gotta move quick when that stick is flying. But I also learned the simple joy of a tortilla smothered in butter, so it wasn't all bad.
That being said, love has got to be the biggest pinata in the world. We all take a swing at it, hoping for a piece of that sweet candy inside, and instead most of us just end up taking a stick to the forehead. We either whiff and over-swing when it's our turn or get too close when it's someone else's turn and end up seeing stars.
I think the only purpose of a first love (you Romeo & Juliet types out there aside) is to get on with your second true love and maybe your third (if you've gotten past three you have either have loved too swiftly or lusted too easily). That's when you finally learn that lopsided love isn't true love, only when it's shared equally is it real.
For those of you still waiting for love? Hang in there. In the meantime? I suggest tortillas smothered in butter.
Invariably your heart gets busted up. Before long the wheel spins the other way and you are standing and looking at someone who has somehow decided that you, of all people on earth, are the best thing since Mac & Cheese and, yep, you have to bust THEIR heart all to pieces. Blink, blink. Then the tears. Ugh. It's like a trip to the dentist.
I grew up in a mostly Mexican neighborhood in Hawthorne. I learned very quickly as the only white kid at the party that pinatas are dangerous, man, and ya gotta move quick when that stick is flying. But I also learned the simple joy of a tortilla smothered in butter, so it wasn't all bad.
That being said, love has got to be the biggest pinata in the world. We all take a swing at it, hoping for a piece of that sweet candy inside, and instead most of us just end up taking a stick to the forehead. We either whiff and over-swing when it's our turn or get too close when it's someone else's turn and end up seeing stars.
I think the only purpose of a first love (you Romeo & Juliet types out there aside) is to get on with your second true love and maybe your third (if you've gotten past three you have either have loved too swiftly or lusted too easily). That's when you finally learn that lopsided love isn't true love, only when it's shared equally is it real.
For those of you still waiting for love? Hang in there. In the meantime? I suggest tortillas smothered in butter.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Be A Kite
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." - Hebrews 12:1
"In order to get from what was to what will be, you must go through what is." - Anonymous
I was driving to work today and saw a homeless man,
pushing a cart across the street in the midst of heavy winds. I watched him,
hunched over, shuffling his feet, head down, face stern. I wondered at the things and circumstances of
his life that had pushed him - not unlike the wind - to this place, in the
middle of the crosswalk, in the cold. But I did not pity him. Even beneath his
age and weakness his fragility betrayed an inner determination to get where he
was going, wherever that was, and perhaps this is how we all get through life:
by being pushed by circumstances, and pushing back.
I hope that if there are circumstances in your life right
now that are holding you down, or beating you up, or breaking your heart, that
you remember that you are not alone, either on the journey or in the journey. Many of us are struggling right alongside you and others have been sent to help, there in
the crosswalk, holding your hand, getting you from one corner to the
next, even when you think you cannot put one foot in front of the other
anymore.
The winds of life can blow so hard in our eyes sometimes that it's hard to see the love all around us. So take heart, say a little prayer and push on. For as Lewis Mumford once said, "A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with, the wind."
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